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The Apprentice

News, Reviews, Features, Trailers & Rants...

The Apprentice: season 10, episode 12 recap: "The End is Nigh"

Posted by Becky Mather at 19:00 on 03 Jan 2015
The Apprentice: season 10, episode 12 recap: "The End is Nigh"
I know two weeks is a long time to wait for a recap, but it's taken this long for the police to cut through the chains tying me to the railings outside Lord Sugar's house, where I turned up on Sunday 21st in protest. Let's just say some things were yelled, some slogans were daubed in biohazardous material, but in the end no one got hurt. By now you should all know who won, and I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT. Nevertheless, let's recap the night as it happened and see if anything I say will stand up in court.

New year's resolution, world: ignore Katie Hopkins and she'll go away

Posted by Ed Williamson at 10:00 on 31 Dec 2014
New year's resolution, world: ignore Katie Hopkins and she'll go away
Katie Hopkins doesn't mean any of the "controversial" things she says; she's just figured out that's how you get publicity and a career. The newspapers and websites that publish them and pretend to be angry about it know she doesn't mean them; it's just an easy headline that they know will get hate-clicks. It's a disingenuous fa├žade on both sides. And you know she doesn't mean them, and you're not that angry about them anyway. Between her, the publisher and the reader, there is not one sincerely held opinion or emotion, or one deed committed in earnest, in the entire transaction. It is a waste of the time of everyone involved.

So don't engage in it. Don't expend energy tweeting about her, much less at her. Don't read Huffington Post blogs that affect to be outraged by what she said. To all intents and purposes, she is an actor playing a character. You might as well be furious at Yosemite Sam because he threatened Bugs Bunny with a gun.

If we're going to see out our days on this planet arguing on the internet, we might as well argue with people whose opinions are sincerely held. Like Russell Brand: his political ideas are pretty scattershot, but at least he means them. Or you could protest Paul Dacre, if you're after someone who genuinely holds the same opinions Katie Hopkins pretends to - and profits from them far more - by never clicking a MailOnline link again.

Make the world a slightly better place in 2015 and turn your back. Because if you don't look at her, she doesn't exist.

The Apprentice: season 10, episode 11 recap: "Taking it to the Next Corporate Level"

Posted by Becky Mather at 18:00 on 21 Dec 2014
The Apprentice: season 10, episode 11 recap: "Taking it to the Next Corporate Level"
I have heard that the Google recruitment process is made up of eight different interviews, in one of which the candidate is lead into an empty room and someone leaps out from behind a curtain, to gauge how they deal with stress. Faced with this, I think I would strike out and kill the person from behind the curtain with a blow to the oesophagus, and then presumably Google would immediately make me CEO, or something.

Yup, it's that part of The Apprentice when people nervously rethink their LinkedIn profile and wonder whether their employer is ever going to double-check that 100m swimming badge that they never actually got. It's interview week!

The Apprentice: season 10, episode 10 recap: "A Trifling Matter"

Posted by Becky Mather at 18:45 on 14 Dec 2014
The Apprentice: season 10, episode 10 recap: "A Trifling Matter"
So far we've said goodbye to Dapper Laughs, The Sad-Eyed Woman, Fabulous Stephen, Lauren The Bratz Doll, Pamela (nope, me neither), The Sockless Wanker and finally, last week Fat Daddy Felipe got the chop and it was like seeing a pug being put to sleep.

Still left in the competition we have Sanjay whose name baffles me, Sarah Millican's younger sister, Rocket Surgeon Mark, Danyewl (how?), Solomon Blue Suit, Bianca and her million different shades of pink lipstick, and Roisin who I always forget is around. There are still more people left in The Apprentice than have auditioned for The X Factor over the past 10 years. Is our licence fee paying for all those taxis that ferry them around?

The Apprentice: season 10, episode 9 recap: "The Bone Collectors"

Posted by Ed Williamson at 19:30 on 04 Dec 2014
The Apprentice: season 10, episode 9 recap: "The Bone Collectors"
Obviously I don't watch The Apprentice, because it is among the litany of modern cultural images intended to discourage individual thought, divert our notions of aspiration towards dreams of meaningless celebrity, and make us dumb, compliant and less likely to rise up and overthrow the shadowy conservative plutocracy that owns the media. But I've recapped last night's episode anyway for funzies.

The Apprentice: season 10, episode 8 recap: "Hot Tub Lie Machine"

Posted by Becky Mather at 14:00 on 01 Dec 2014
The Apprentice: season 10, episode 8 recap: "Hot Tub Lie Machine"
Remember when Wednesdays were fun? When you could do as you wanted and not be a slave to the corporate machine? I miss those days.

The Apprentice: season 10, episode 7 recap: "The Big Snapple"

Posted by Becky Mather at 10:30 on 20 Nov 2014
The Apprentice: season 10, episode 7 recap: "The Big Snapple"
All Apprentice and no play makes Becky a dull girl All Apprentice and no play makes Becky a dull girl All Apprentice and no play makes Becky a dull girl All Apprentice and no play makes Becky a dull girl

The Apprentice: season 10, episode 6 recap: "Don't Hate the Players, Hate the Game"

Posted by Becky Mather at 14:00 on 13 Nov 2014
The Apprentice: season 10, episode 6 recap: "Don't Hate the Players, Hate the Game"
Just when I thought it was on the brink, The Apprentice pulls itself from the wreckage of last week's Coach Trip disaster and delivers another doozy of an episode. I may just push back my trip to Dignitas for another week.

The Apprentice: season 10, episode 5 recap: "The Road to Hell"

Posted by Becky Mather at 10:30 on 10 Nov 2014
The Apprentice: season 10, episode 5 recap: "The Road to Hell"
Thankfully this week's episode was much less dramatic. Following the sucker punch that was last week's triple firing, I don't think my heart could have taken it. However, it did mean we got the worst. Episode. Ever.

The Apprentice: season 10, episode 4 recap: "The Red Wedding"

Posted by Becky Mather at 11:00 on 30 Oct 2014
The Apprentice: season 10, episode 4 recap: "The Red Wedding"
Apologies for the spoilerish title, but holy fuck, what just happened? I actually think I'm about to have an aneurysm. This is peak Apprentice, people; we're through the looking glass.
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