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The Apprentice

News, Reviews, Features, Trailers & Rants...

The Apprentice: season 11, episode 12 recap: "Apprentice and Chill"

Posted by Becky Mather at 23:00 on 10 Jan 2016
The Apprentice: season 11, episode 12 recap: "Apprentice and Chill"
I could go into the whys and wherefores as to why I'm almost three weeks late with this recap, but let's just say it was a combination of festive cheer, booze and a could-be-serious internet gambling addiction.

The Apprentice: season 11, episode 11 recap: "The Force Awakens"

Posted by Becky Mather at 09:30 on 21 Dec 2015
The Apprentice: season 11, episode 11 recap: "The Force Awakens"
This week, I shall be shamelessly working in references to Star Wars in order to boost SEO, so you can do one, weather-girl. This is my wheelhouse.

The Apprentice: season 11, episode 10 recap: "The Reich Stuff"

Posted by Ed Williamson at 23:45 on 10 Dec 2015
The Apprentice: season 11, episode 10 recap: "The Reich Stuff"
It is easy to forget, now it is embedded in the BBC's Christmas run-up scheduling, that The Apprentice is a US import, based on an original built around Donald Trump. Fast-forward two years and imagine he is now President of the United States, and has banned all immigration by Muslims. Could we really continue dispassionately to watch Lord Sugar sit in a chair warmed by a proponent of ethnic cleansing, unaccountably making people build sandcastles as a 12-week aptitude test and purging those who failed? You'd have to argue the connotations made it inappropriate.

The Apprentice: season 11, episode 9 recap: "Must Be Viewed to Be Appreciated"

Posted by Becky Mather at 23:15 on 06 Dec 2015
The Apprentice: season 11, episode 9 recap: "Must Be Viewed to Be Appreciated"
This is it, folks; the long-awaited bust-up between Charleine and Selina happens in this very episode. But before we get to the mother of all showdowns, we have to endure Lord Sugar turning his bunch of wankers into even worse wankers.

The Apprentice: season 11, episode 8 recap: "Fail to Party Plan, Party Plan to Fail"

Posted by Becky Mather at 22:55 on 29 Nov 2015
The Apprentice: season 11, episode 8 recap: "Fail to Party Plan, Party Plan to Fail"
According to Lord Sugar, the average children's party costs £2,000. TWO GRAND? The centerpiece of my 6th birthday party was a cucumber on cocktail sticks that was meant to be a crocodile, but looked like a cucumber on cocktail sticks and goddammit, that was enough. Kids these days don't know they're born.

The Apprentice: season 11, episode 7 recap: "The Discount Bin of Dreams"

Posted by Becky Mather at 14:00 on 23 Nov 2015
The Apprentice: season 11, episode 7 recap: "The Discount Bin of Dreams"
Stack 'em high, flog 'em cheap, leave a better-looking corpse. We're over halfway point, so we'll start to see the ads for the 2016 arena tour of rejected candidates soon.

The Apprentice: season 11, episode 6 recap: "Screwing Around"

Posted by Becky Mather at 23:30 on 12 Nov 2015
The Apprentice: season 11, episode 6 recap: "Screwing Around"
On this week's Apprentice, we learn how many Apprenti (that's the correct plural) it takes to clean a window, and we get four cracking double entendres. Every week we are further and further from God's light.

The Apprentice: season 11, episode 5 recap: "The Ninkytwonks of Wankery Woo, Or Something"

Posted by Becky Mather at 14:00 on 10 Nov 2015
The Apprentice: season 11, episode 5 recap: "The Ninkytwonks of Wankery Woo, Or Something"
This week on The Apprentice, some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends, lessons are learned and everyone is richer for the experience.

The Apprentice: season 11, episode 4 recap: "I'll Make You an Off-fur You Can't Refuse"

Posted by Becky Mather at 11:15 on 03 Nov 2015
The Apprentice: season 11, episode 4 recap: "I'll Make You an Off-fur You Can't Refuse"
This week, we're all about show-jumping bunnies and chickens in high-vis jackets. Thank God The Apprentice is finally taking itself seriously.

The Apprentice: season 11, episode 3 recap: "Negotiations are Merde-er"

Posted by Becky Mather at 14:00 on 22 Oct 2015
The Apprentice: season 11, episode 3 recap: "Negotiations are Merde-er"
Bonjour mes amis! Je m'appelle Becky! J'habite a pres de Londres, avec ma petit cheval, Phillipe. La disk-jockey Sash est de retour. Encore une fois. Frere Jacques.

This week, the hapless contenders are shipped off to France, hence my amazing parlez. Also this week, the Apprentices/potential business partners are literally shovelling shit. Someone at the BBC's got a wry sense of humour.