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Guess who's back – back again. Max is back! Tell a friend! Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back.
Everything is right in the world and I am overjoyed.
This week's episode of Catfish comes from Third Earth, when Nev and guest host Alex Shaffer answer a distress call from female Thunderian noble Chitara, whose precognitive sense has warned her that a tabby she has been communicating with may not have been an actual ThunderCat.
OK, so it's not, but that's not going to stop me from making as many ThunderCats references as possible, based on the fact that this week's Catfishee is called Chitara.
The official episode synopsis for this week's episode reads: "After helping with troubles at home, a man refuses to speak to his love interest on the phone." You, me and a million others, love. Spoiler alert: this episode may as well have been entitled "He's just not that into you".
Here's a fun little game to play: it's called "How To Work Out Your Catfish Name"!
1. Think of a well-known, luxurious brand
2. Spell it phonetically
3. Then take the colour of your socks.
Mine is Versarchee Left-Something-Red-In-A-White-Wash.
Last week I joked about the eroticism of Catfish. Based on the evidence of the latest episode, I obviously had no idea what I was on about. With the shift in society's attitudes and the increasing role of technology in human interaction, sexuality is less black and white and more of a broad spectrum; therefore it's almost apt that this week Catfish introduced us to a man who wanked himself stupid thinking about women's feet.
Oh Catfish, how I've missed you. Monday nights just weren't the same without the overwhelming eroticism that is the bromance between co-hosts Nev Schulman and Max Joseph. And now it's back, but in a shocking format twist Max is out of action for six episodes making a film with his new BFF Zac Efron. Nev seems cool with it but I know he's just as upset as I am. Fuck Efron and his quiffy hair.
I refuse to believe people who complain "There's nothing on TV", when we live in a world where Catfish: The TV Show exists. Based on the 2010 movie
when cameras followed Nev Schulman as he tracked down the girl he was in an online relationship with, now Nev and his filmmaker buddy Max travel across the US, righting wrongs and unravelling the mysteries of online dating like a sexier Noughties version of Scooby-Doo. The upshot of Nev's story was that people lie about who they are on the internet, and TV is now all the better for it.
Formula for Teen Wolf trailers: subtract Michael J. Fox, add Twilight, add boys, subtract shirts.
So just have this link to it. Oh, the picture? No, nothing to do with it. Not sure how it got there, to be honest.
It's sultry, angst-y and bonafide teeny, but is it anything like the Teen Wolf we already know and laugh at? Of course not. They might as well have called it Goonies for all the similarities it bears.