In years to come, we will remember 2013 as the year everything changed. Danny Dyer is now in Eastenders, and across the land all else has ceased to matter. But look upon the works of this medium, now so wholly transformed, and you will see more than this. And you might think it handy that some berk put it all in a list and bid you read it.
I think there's probably some big thing coming whereby Saul's the mole, or a secret North Korean agent or something, and that's why he's so conflicted. But this is wholly insignificant when compared with the discovery I've just made: that you can literally swap Saul around with any other bearded man and it makes no difference whatsoever.
With little better to occupy my thoughts tonight, it struck me that the new Homeland poster looked a bit like the cover of Queen's seminal 1989 album The Miracle, and with just a little tweaking could be doctored to resemble it further. Why, my Photoshop skills will make short work of this, I thought. I thought.
We spent 2012 doing what we do best: watching TV and putting off writing about it. And my stars, the things we've seen. If only there were some way to convey our preferences of one thing over another through hierarchical structuring. Wait a minute ...
I saw a tweet a couple of weeks ago on a Sunday night. It said: "It's a shame Homeland's shit now." This might be an example of the social media user's tendency to describe everything in extreme terms, but it highlighted a worrying drop-off in the quality of one of the best new shows in years. No, it's not shit - far from it - but it's made some odd choices in its second season.
It's the biggest cliffhanger since Sylvester Stallone physically hung from a cliff in the film Cliffhanger. But what happens next in Homeland? I've figured it out and present my findings to you here. [Warning: very spoilery if you haven't seen episode 2.2.]
That's right, I put WIN in capital letters because you can literally WIN a thing here. It does involve leaving the house, though. I realise this goes against everything we stand for, but stick with it.