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We've had people claiming to have been kidnapped. We've had double-reverse catfishes. We've had lesbian smackdowns. We've even had ghosts. Where oh where can Catfish go from here?
"There are greater things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt in your philosophy." Shakespeare, eh. He knew what was up. Tonight on a Very Special Catfish, Nev and Max are on the trail of a psychic sending messages to a young girl from her dead father, because busting makes them feel good.
Sadly there are no warring lesbians in this week's catch-up, but there is a woman called Tomorrow, and Nev and Max try to determine someone's identity from sonogram pictures. They're that good.
In this week's Catfish: a lesbian love triangle smackdown and maybe even a sex tape (*watches Google rankings improve*)
This week, Nev and Max met with 19-year-old Ray, who had never met his online girlfriend of four years, even though they only lived a few hours away from each other. Jesus, do we have to go through this sort of thing AGAIN? Why are the youth of today so stupid? Remember when it was batshit mental online vigilantes trying to catch out cheating boyfriends?
I'm starting to suspect people are only applying to go on Catfish to get a free stay in an Airbnb. Unless there's a mid-century Scandi furniture craze sweeping the nation and a country-wide sale on off-white paint, something (cat)fishy is definitely going on.
I'm starting to feel like Nev is trying to drop subtle hints to Max about his disappearing act. After Max went on "holiday"
now we have an actual ghost Catfish. Watch closely and you can see Nev slyly give Max the side-eye as they discuss this week's case of a catfish who suddenly disappeared and ceased all contact. When I eventually start my blog/self-help book (publishers are interested), I'm going to dedicate a whole chapter to "They're Not Dead, They're Avoiding You."
It's a brave man who decides to move across the country to live with a girl he's never met. Did I say brave? I mean stupid. Really, really stupid. But this week's catfishee Jaylin is determined to be with the girl he's never even talked to on the phone. So she's obviously a dude, right? Spoiler alert: in this week's Catfish, we learn that there are exceptions to every rule.
I could start a dating advice blog based on how many episodes of Catfish I've endured. Throughout my need to better understand 21st century dating, I came across the term "ghosting", which refers to the act where one person in a relationship suddenly ends all communication, rather than simply admitting they're not interested in the other person any more. An example of this would be a co-host of a long-running reality series suddenly disappearing four episodes into a new season without explanation. Are you reading this, Max? I have one question: how dare you.
What's in a name? I blame the parents. If they can't be bothered to spell your name properly, you're on a losing path from the start. Look at the revenge Shuntay played on her mum last week
for giving her such a made-up moniker. It was hard not to feel sorry for this week's catfishee Leuh, whose parents decided the common spelling of "Leah" wasn't good enough and gave her a name that when written down looked like the sound you make when hocking up a glob of phlegm. But then Leuh was about to go to college and apparently didn't know how to use the internet, so it wasn't that hard not to feel sorry for her after all.
Momma doesn't always know best. In this week's episode, we have our very first MILC: Mum I'd Like to Catfish.