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The Apprentice: season 12, episode 8 recap: "Fish and Chips"

Posted by Ed Williamson at 23:30 on 28 Nov 2016
The Apprentice: season 12, episode 8 recap: "Fish and Chips"
Because they have chips at casinos. You know, as tokens for the ... you stopped reading these weeks ago, didn't you?

The Apprentice: season 12, episode 7 recap: "The Sea Word"

Posted by Becky Suter at 08:00 on 22 Nov 2016
The Apprentice: season 12, episode 7 recap: "The Sea Word"
Ahhh, the sea. She is a cruel mistress. This week, not one but two contestants will be taking a power nap with the fishes as the remaining Apprentices are lost at sea for this week's task. The boat show must go on.

The Apprentice: season 12, episode 6 recap: "Ihr Kampf"

Posted by Ed Williamson at 23:30 on 12 Nov 2016
The Apprentice: season 12, episode 6 recap: "Ihr Kampf"
As I said back in December, continuing to watch The Apprentice in the event of a Trump presidency would be a discomfiting experience. And so it proves. The only light at the end of this tunnel is that the prospect of Lord Sugar becoming a ranting far-right demagogue who wins power in the UK is laughably slim, because engaging an audience, or even convincing one that he is more than barely alive, is not really his strong point.

The Apprentice: season 12, episode 5 recap: "Wheelie Disappointing"

Posted by Becky Suter at 23:30 on 06 Nov 2016
The Apprentice: season 12, episode 5 recap: "Wheelie Disappointing"
These are testing times: as we approach the series finale of 2016 AKA That Was The Worst Year That Was, this time next week we could be watching our hapless Apprenti flapping around while a man whose name is a northern euphemism for passing wind could be leader of the free world. Speaking of hot air …

The Apprentice: season 12, episode 4 recap: "Liberty Bells"

Posted by Ed Williamson at 13:30 on 30 Oct 2016
The Apprentice: season 12, episode 4 recap: "Liberty Bells"
I think there must be some mistake. This week's task appeared to be one that actually tested the candidates' sales acumen, a skill that might prove useful to Lord Sugar in a potential business partner, without requiring them to manufacture the items themselves, dress up as the Pet Shop Boys or learn Morris dancing. If he's not careful he'll end up with a viable commercial proposition on his hands.

The Apprentice: season 12, episode 3 recap: "Packing Fudge"

Posted by Becky Suter at 08:30 on 23 Oct 2016
The Apprentice: season 12, episode 3 recap: "Packing Fudge"
How much fudge could a fudge packer pack, if the person packing fudge was after a £250,000 investment for his sausage factory? Monsieur, with these ridiculous tasks you are really spoiling us.

The Apprentice: season 12, episode 2 recap: "Double Denim"

Posted by Ed Williamson at 23:30 on 15 Oct 2016
The Apprentice: season 12, episode 2 recap: "Double Denim"
"If you're building a business," notes project manager Jessica, "you need team players." A fair point, but one which neglects two things: on The Apprentice they aren't building a business; they're dancing like monkeys while a rich man watches, and the "team players" are participating in a process in which their colleagues' failure is their gain. Wait, I think I've cracked it.

The Apprentice: season 12, episode 1 recap: "Sticking the Car Boot in"

Posted by Becky Suter at 23:30 on 06 Oct 2016
The Apprentice: season 12, episode 1 recap: "Sticking the Car Boot in"
Creeping out of the darkness like The Great British Bake Off's evil twisted twin, The Apprentice returns for its twelfth series. Somewhere in an alternate universe, Lord Sugar is now Prime Minister and Claude is Chief Hangman at the newly reinstated London Dungeon. I want to go to there.

The Apprentice: season 11, episode 12 recap: "Apprentice and Chill"

Posted by Becky Suter at 23:00 on 10 Jan 2016
The Apprentice: season 11, episode 12 recap: "Apprentice and Chill"
I could go into the whys and wherefores as to why I'm almost three weeks late with this recap, but let's just say it was a combination of festive cheer, booze and a could-be-serious internet gambling addiction.

The Apprentice: season 11, episode 11 recap: "The Force Awakens"

Posted by Becky Suter at 09:30 on 21 Dec 2015
The Apprentice: season 11, episode 11 recap: "The Force Awakens"
This week, I shall be shamelessly working in references to Star Wars in order to boost SEO, so you can do one, weather-girl. This is my wheelhouse.