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All Apprentice and no play makes Becky a dull girl All Apprentice and no play makes Becky a dull girl All Apprentice and no play makes Becky a dull girl All Apprentice and no play makes Becky a dull girl
Probably the easiest way to turn yourself into an online pariah or to bait hate-clickers right now is to say you feel sorry for Dapper Laughs, so it's a good job I don't. Fifteen minutes of fame is as much as his act merited. But I did get the sense, watching him being skewered by Emily Maitliss on Newsnight this week, that he hadn't quite appreciated that there's a difference between being an internet star and a TV personality, and that the two arenas have different rules.
Just when I thought it was on the brink, The Apprentice pulls itself from the wreckage of last week's Coach Trip disaster
and delivers another doozy of an episode. I may just push back my trip to Dignitas for another week.
Thankfully this week's episode was much less dramatic. Following the sucker punch that was last week's triple firing, I don't think my heart could have taken it. However, it did mean we got the worst. Episode. Ever.
I've loved Eastenders since I started back on it, but the return of a character as one-note as Nick Cotton, while familiar and not unwelcome, reminds you what soaps are like when they don't bother with characterisation. Yes, we know, Nick: you're a bad man, everything you do is bad without any real reason why, and all your clothes are accordingly black. Tell us a new one.
Apologies for the spoilerish title, but holy fuck, what just happened? I actually think I'm about to have an aneurysm. This is peak Apprentice, people; we're through the looking glass.
It's 4am. The phone rings at The Apprentice house and it's Lord Sugar himself. He's not calling about this week's task; he just fancies a chat because he's been up all night worrying that Nick's written something horrible about him in his Book of Secrets. After reassuring a tearful Alan that it's probably all in his mind, the candidates are assembled at the Royal Exchange, but no one can quite look him in the eye.
The current series of Doctor Who has been one of the most successful in recent years. The episodes have been pretty much universally praised by critics and fans alike, and the reaction to the latest incarnation of the Doctor, played by Peter Capaldi, has been unanimously positive. So why aren't I enjoying it as much as everyone else seems to be?
So black-belt Chiles has been given the chop from The Apprentice, but there are still 576 hopefuls left. Due to BBC scheduling, even though we're only on the second episode I can't remember what my life was like before this year's series started: when Lord Sugar announced that he is "the judge, jury and executioner" I hoped he would grant me the sweet release of death.
It's been 10 years and yet an Apprentice has still not managed to get the coveted Christmas No. 1. To improve his chances, Lord Sugar has widened the pool to 20 prospective "partners", thereby giving me 20 chances to swear at the TV on a Wednesday evening.