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Parents across the UK congratulated Simon Cowell on the birth of his son this weekend, while delighting in anticipation that the boy would one day want to pursue a singing career.
The goons who keep Simon Cowell's publicity machine rumbling on like some sort of vast, unrelenting, Gulag-bound people-carrier tonight offered free eggs for anyone else who wants to do them a massive favour.
The judges in Simon Cowell's forthcoming X Factor-style DJ talent show are to ingest a cocktail of mind-altering substances in order to properly appraise the contestants, it has emerged.
X Factor USA contestant Rachel Crow was eliminated from the competition last night. She pretty much took it on the chin.
Children's charity Rhythmix have got proper shirty with Simon Cowell for using their name for X Factor girl band Rhythmix. Wait, I thought Tulisa chose the name? And the songs every week? You mean ... ?
are frankly sickened by what a nasty piece of work Gary Barlow has become of late. Why, it's almost as if an extremely lucrative job he recently secured requires him to pretend to be thoroughly unpleasant.
Anyone else noticed a marked dumbing down of our content recently? Like we should give two fucks about ITV gameshows. I blame Matt personally. He once told me Band of Brothers would've been better with a text-in voting system and a gunge tank.
After years of watching nightmare auditions by half-arsed mentalists, I�ve developed this can�t-lose, idiot-proof plan to winning The X Factor. If I didn�t sound like a demented bear when I sing, I�d even give it a try myself.