The BBC came under fire this afternoon as furious licence fee-payers saw the beard Damian Lewis is to wear as Henry VIII in Wolf Hall and said as one: "Not in my name."
"As gingers go, he's probably the best of the lot," admitted viewer Thackeray Fatch. "I liked that thing where he played the man in the war who was good at the war and Dexter Fletcher shouted a bit.
"But adding a beard is aggressively ginger if anything. It's typical of the BBC, pushing their liberal agenda and shoving minorities in our face. This is like how Idris Elba is playing James Bond, or how they've made the Pet Shop Boys Chinese.
"Next thing you know there'll be a Greek reading the news."
I think there's probably some big thing coming whereby Saul's the mole, or a secret North Korean agent or something, and that's why he's so conflicted. But this is wholly insignificant when compared with the discovery I've just made: that you can literally swap Saul around with any other bearded man and it makes no difference whatsoever.
With little better to occupy my thoughts tonight, it struck me that the new Homeland poster looked a bit like the cover of Queen's seminal 1989 album The Miracle, and with just a little tweaking could be doctored to resemble it further. Why, my Photoshop skills will make short work of this, I thought. I thought.
I saw a tweet a couple of weeks ago on a Sunday night. It said: "It's a shame Homeland's shit now." This might be an example of the social media user's tendency to describe everything in extreme terms, but it highlighted a worrying drop-off in the quality of one of the best new shows in years. No, it's not shit - far from it - but it's made some odd choices in its second season.
It's the biggest cliffhanger since Sylvester Stallone physically hung from a cliff in the film Cliffhanger. But what happens next in Homeland? I've figured it out and present my findings to you here. [Warning: very spoilery if you haven't seen episode 2.2.]
That's right, I put WIN in capital letters because you can literally WIN a thing here. It does involve leaving the house, though. I realise this goes against everything we stand for, but stick with it.