Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen doesn't know what a 'character' is

Get ready to learn a shocking truth about one Hollywood's finest and hardest-working actors.

Kutcher still alive, able to procreate

My plan to hypnotise a drifter into murdering Ashton Kutcher has failed, it seems. That's the last time I base a death plot on something I learned in the Paul Daniels Magic Annual 1983.

Charlie Sheen to drive off a cliff? Sounds about right

The producers of Two And A Half Men have hinted that Charlie Sheen's character may be written out of the show in the opening episode of the new series by saying that he drove off a cliff. Presumably, if Sheen does this in real life before then, the plans will be scrapped for fear of 'bad taste'.

Entourage final season: consider yourselves teased

Thanks a bunch, HBO. Now I have to write two hundred words about five guys' backs. That's forty words a back.

Kutcher: "I won the lottery". World: "no shit"

In what we're calling a probably-fairly-regular-unless-we-forget feature, but concerned onlookers are calling "a series of bitter and unwarranted personal attacks", takes a look at what Ashton Kutcher's been up to of late. This week: it's CASHton Kutcher.

Hugh and a Half Men?

Ha! I bet no one else came up with that headline to report the news that Hugh Grant is in talks to take over from Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men! (*conducts Google search*) Oh. Oh, right.