Kutcher still alive, able to procreate
Posted by Ed Williamson at 07:24 on 09 Sep 2011
As Ashton Kutcher continues his relentless trundle towards TV screens, like a slow-spreading but potent strain of Ebola virus, details are emerging (more accurately they emerged some time ago but it takes months of shock therapy before I can so much as type his name) of the role he'll be taking on Two and a Half Men, set to premiere on 19 September in the US.
He'll be playing internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who is broken-hearted and wants to buy Charlie's Malibu beach house. The Charlie character will be killed off as we previously reported like we're an actual news thing, and this video manages to both give more information and render it wholly incomprehensible all at once. It seems to suggest that he'll be blown up in a 'meat explosion'? On the Paris subway? Or something? I don't even ...