DoorsWorld social media manager off sick today
Posted by Ed Williamson at 14:00 on 24 May 2016
Unaware that everyone on Twitter was going collectively dragonshit over a thing that happened in Game of Thrones with a door, Hinds called work at 9am to report he had "a bit of a throat" and wouldn't be coming in.
"I was told we needed a social media manager about a year ago," said regional manager Graeme Tomlin. "Jez had just done a degree in something or other to do with computers and he said some stuff in his interview about engagement and analytics which sounded vaguely credible. I've got no idea how having an Instagram helps us sell more doors but I said fine, if you'll do it for £16,000 a year.
"Mainly we just leave him to it. He does us a little report once a month and he knows how to get your work back when the Windows XP freezes, so I'm not too bothered either way."
After a year of trying to increase the Facebook page's Likes beyond 70, Hinds realised the scale of the catastrophe around 10am today.
"Suddenly everyone was using the hashtag #TheDoor," he coughed. "Finally, a Jez letter day. I could post the picture of the guy dying and say 'Should've gone to DoorsWorld #TheDoor #GoT' or something. It could've got five or six retweets.
"I called in again and asked Jean to send me the password to the Sprout account but she didn't know what I was talking about. She said I could use her Facebook page if I wanted: she'd set one up so she could talk to her daughter in Hong Kong. I gave up and went back to bed."
Meanwhile Bryce Oliver, owner of the Twitter page for The Doors, declared himself happy with his day's work after tweeting "Wrong sort of door! #Ourlovebecomeafuneralpyre #GoT" and getting 30 likes and 67 retweets. "This is the perfect way to pay tribute to Jim Morrison," he confirmed.
"It's what he would've wanted."