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Review: The Night Manager

Posted by Ed Williamson at 16:30 on 08 Apr 2016
The Night Manager
Dayman! Uhh-AHH-ahh! Fighter of the Night Manager! Is all I could think of when I heard the title. Then I found out it had House and Loki in it, and I was on board, although still mainly for the Dayman thing.

It's nothing like that, say actual night managers

Posted by Ed Williamson at 23:50 on 06 Apr 2016
It's nothing like that, say actual night managers
Night managers of UK hotels have reported that scenarios requiring them to infiltrate the organisations of rogue arms dealers are rare.

"It doesn't come up much if I'm honest," confirmed Darren Moxey of Hexham Premier Inn. "Mainly I just do sudokus.

"Once I had to prise open an old couple's window because it was stuck and they were too hot to sleep. And last year I had to change the battery in the smoke alarm on four because it was beeping every thirty seconds.

"No, we don't get a lot of emotionally damaged American ex-models in, shooting me sexually charged glances. Once we had a hen do stay and they made me dance with them in the foyer. But one of them knocked over the umbrella stand and I had to ask them all to go to bed.

"They grabbed my name badge and wouldn't give it back."

Jambo still in things

Posted by Ed Williamson at 12:00 on 10 Feb 2016
Jambo still in things
Jambo is still in things, a promotional picture for Line of Duty season three has confirmed.

Kurt Benson was believed not to be in things as we went to press.

A spokesperson for Bazz FM said her client was unavailable for comment, leading to speculation that Bazz FM might be in things again soon, possibly a Taggart reboot.

Men sit at table in tantalising first-look House of Cards image

Posted by Ed Williamson at 22:00 on 02 Feb 2016
Men sit at table in tantalising first-look House of Cards image
Breaking new ground as ever, Netflix has today released this first look at House of Cards season four, confirming that all 13 episodes will consist of President Underwood talking to RoboCop at a table. The sixth will consist entirely of Frank's acerbic asides to camera, such as "Get a load of this bell-end!" It will then be all anyone talks about for a week because it's on Netflix.

Top 10 TV shows of 2015

Posted by Ed Williamson at 22:30 on 03 Jan 2016
Top 10 TV shows of 2015
I almost did it. Almost went my first Christmas period for five years without having to think about the end-of-year list. But then I thought of you, who is reading this now, and even though statistically you most likely are either my mother or the Googlebot spider, I decided I couldn't let you down. Also I'm on hold to TalkTalk and have nothing else to fill the time.

The Apprentice: season 11, episode 10 recap: "The Reich Stuff"

Posted by Ed Williamson at 23:45 on 10 Dec 2015
The Apprentice: season 11, episode 10 recap: "The Reich Stuff"
It is easy to forget, now it is embedded in the BBC's Christmas run-up scheduling, that The Apprentice is a US import, based on an original built around Donald Trump. Fast-forward two years and imagine he is now President of the United States, and has banned all immigration by Muslims. Could we really continue dispassionately to watch Lord Sugar sit in a chair warmed by a proponent of ethnic cleansing, unaccountably making people build sandcastles as a 12-week aptitude test and purging those who failed? You'd have to argue the connotations made it inappropriate.

The Walking Dead: season 6, episode 1 recap: "First Time Again"

Posted by Ed Williamson at 22:50 on 12 Oct 2015
The Walking Dead: season 6, episode 1 recap: "First Time Again"
The Deaders are back, and Rick's playing Lemmings on the Mayhem level. "Let's go!"

Cumberbatch to seek less innuendo-friendly stage role

Posted by Ed Williamson at 15:30 on 11 Aug 2015
Cumberbatch to seek less innuendo-friendly stage role
Benedict Cumberbatch has today announced that the potential for innuendo around his Hamlet has made the role untenable.

Noel Edmonds knows secrets of existence, is still game-show host

Posted by Ed Williamson at 14:30 on 05 Aug 2015
Noel Edmonds knows secrets of existence, is still game-show host
Noel Edmonds has revealed in an interview with the Daily Mirror that human beings do not in fact die, and are composed only of energy. The corporeal form is merely a host for this energy, which becomes "part of a massive, incomprehensible universal web of energy" on its expiration.

"There isn't such a thing as death, it's just departure," he confirmed. "You cannot die. It's been known for a very long time."

Meanwhile, sufferers worldwide breathed a sigh of relief as Edmonds assured them that Aids is not a problem at all.

The biggest problem we have is not Ebola, it's not Aids, it's electro smog.

The Wi-Fi and all of the systems that we are introducing into our lives are destroying our own natural electro-magnetic fields. All you are is energy, remember that.
In full knowledge of the secrets of the cosmos and the meaning of existence, Edmonds continues to present a game show in which contestants open a series of red boxes.

Six things that might actually be bloody going on in True Detective

Posted by Ed Williamson at 11:30 on 31 Jul 2015
Six things that might actually be bloody going on in True Detective
Yeah no, the bit where he gets shot by a crow? That's a metaphor for ... I want to say the war in Iraq? Don't worry, I'm all over this.