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The Apprentice: season 13, episode 6 recap: "Bruged Egos"

Posted by Ed Williamson at 23:45 on 13 Nov 2017
The Apprentice: season 13, episode 6 recap: "Bruged Egos"
Off we head to Bruges, city of culture, chocolate and small-scale fraud. You get the feeling this is one member state for which March 2019 can't come fast enough.

The Apprentice: season 13, episode 4 recap: "Stadium Ruck"

Posted by Ed Williamson at 23:45 on 30 Oct 2017
The Apprentice: season 13, episode 4 recap: "Stadium Ruck"
Apparently when Queen played Wembley Stadium in 1986, which we can all agree was among the greatest concerts of all time, it only cost you fifteen quid to get in. Thirty-one years on, a few hours in a corporate box there costs you two and a half grand, and you've got to listen to Harrison sing.

The Apprentice: season 13, episode 2 recap: "Panic Room"

Posted by Ed Williamson at 00:16 on 17 Oct 2017
The Apprentice: season 13, episode 2 recap: "Panic Room"
There are too many of them. The Apprentice always trudges through its early weeks like an underfunded, overcrowded crèche, full of puffed-up, bellicose rugrats wanting the biggest rusk. The reality of editing it down to an hour means there are always those who can keep their heads down for a few weeks and ride it out till their first reckoning around Bonfire Night. As such, I have no idea what half their names are and I'm fucked if I'm going to bother learning them.

Hardy to get knob out on CBeebies

Posted by Ed Williamson at 12:45 on 06 Apr 2017
Hardy to get knob out on CBeebies
Tom Hardy's popular stint on Bedtime Stories is to end with a series finale in which he just shows you his penis.

My Google audio history is just recordings of me watching Friends

Posted by Ed Williamson at 16:45 on 01 Apr 2017
My Google audio history is just recordings of me watching Friends
This is a low point if I'm honest.

The Apprentice: season 12, episode 12 recap: "Cakermaker"

Posted by Ed Williamson at 23:30 on 20 Dec 2016
The Apprentice: season 12, episode 12 recap: "Cakermaker"
After years of affecting to be above it all like the dickhead I am, it finally happened. I cared who won The Apprentice. "Alana's has the less risk of the two business plans," I said to myself. "Surely Lord Sugar will see that; what self-respecting businessman wouldn't?" Well played, 2016. You win.

The Apprentice: season 12, episode 10 recap: "A Kick in the Botanicals"

Posted by Ed Williamson at 23:30 on 12 Dec 2016
The Apprentice: season 12, episode 10 recap: "A Kick in the Botanicals"
There's one man left and five women, just like that dream I keep having about being overpowered by the female Gladiators.

Your easy flowchart guide to Westworld plot twists

Posted by Ed Williamson at 16:00 on 03 Dec 2016
Your easy flowchart guide to Westworld plot twists
Heard tell on social media that there's a huge twist coming in Westworld? Whichever character it involves, allow us to simplify it for you.

The Apprentice: season 12, episode 8 recap: "Fish and Chips"

Posted by Ed Williamson at 23:30 on 28 Nov 2016
The Apprentice: season 12, episode 8 recap: "Fish and Chips"
Because they have chips at casinos. You know, as tokens for the ... you stopped reading these weeks ago, didn't you?

The Apprentice: season 12, episode 6 recap: "Ihr Kampf"

Posted by Ed Williamson at 23:30 on 12 Nov 2016
The Apprentice: season 12, episode 6 recap: "Ihr Kampf"
As I said back in December, continuing to watch The Apprentice in the event of a Trump presidency would be a discomfiting experience. And so it proves. The only light at the end of this tunnel is that the prospect of Lord Sugar becoming a ranting far-right demagogue who wins power in the UK is laughably slim, because engaging an audience, or even convincing one that he is more than barely alive, is not really his strong point.