I don't know about you, but I know a lot about Marco Polo, including the fact that he was called Marco Polo, and also what his name was, and a little bit about what people mainly addressed him as when they spoke to him. Bring it on, Netflix!
Probably the easiest way to turn yourself into an online pariah or to bait hate-clickers right now is to say you feel sorry for Dapper Laughs, so it's a good job I don't. Fifteen minutes of fame is as much as his act merited. But I did get the sense, watching him being skewered by Emily Maitliss on Newsnight this week, that he hadn't quite appreciated that there's a difference between being an internet star and a TV personality, and that the two arenas have different rules.
I've loved Eastenders since I started back on it, but the return of a character as one-note as Nick Cotton, while familiar and not unwelcome, reminds you what soaps are like when they don't bother with characterisation. Yes, we know, Nick: you're a bad man, everything you do is bad without any real reason why, and all your clothes are accordingly black. Tell us a new one.
In an exclusive interview, everyone from The Walking Dead has professed their total confidence that some random punter they met can cure the zombie pandemic if they get him to Washington.
Closer research reveals this is the 2010 film Chicago Overcoat, repackaged for its UK DVD release in 2013. It's almost as if they were trying to capitalise on Boardwalk Empire's popularity over here. (Though it isn't especially popular over here, so nice job all round.)
I should like to draw your attention to the fact that a 29-year-old Yorkshireman called Marc Pickering is currently playing a young Nucky Thompson in Boardwalk Empire's flashback scenes, and giving the best Steve Buscemi impersonation you're likely to see.
I admit to not being a fountain of good ideas when it comes to this website. Which is why the opportunity to embed a load of people's tweets about a controversial episode of Eastenders is a ruddy godsend.
This is going to be great. I always loved how darkly surreal it was, and the guy who was like a reverse midget in a dream or something. Even just listening to the theme tune again brings back memories.
Peaky Blinders, while being fairly good and having the advantage of a second-season role for Tom Hardy, which will factually be brilliant, is saddled with a rubbish title.
Sorry, but all I see is Rick doing a poo in the woods. I wish I was better than this. Please don't go. I can change.