The internet called and said I was PROBABLY going to be named "Apprentice-recapper (person) of the year", but I would have to agree to an interview and a major photoshoot. I said probably is good enough for me, when are you free? I can do any time next week. But they never called back. Didn't want it anyway.
, dogs are interesting. There are lots of dogs. Some I can name. Some I can't. But I love all of 'em. This week's show has plenty of doggos, coupled with hilarious dog lookalikes of some of the candidates sourced by my own hand. No bones about it, this was one of my fave episodes, not least because Charles called himself a turd-catcher. His words, not mine.
The cathedral bells remain silent, because He is unsatisfied. Year after year the people place presents at His feet: nigella seeds, skeletons
and African black soap
and yet the bells pay no heed. In this, His 70th year, the Lord Sugar demands nine sacrifices and only then shall the bells ring out and one lucky parishioner shall have bestowed upon them a £250k business opportunity.
The Three Laws of Robotics, as devised by Isaac Asimov, are guiding principles whose purpose is to avoid robots rising up and destroying us all. The Laws state that no robot shall be able to neither harm nor allow harm to a human being, nor be programmed to conflict the first law, even if it risks its own existence. This week, the Apprentice contestants push Asimov's laws to the limit, thereby triggering the robopocalypse.
A team of Oxford University physicists has recently determined that, despite popular opinion, reality is not a simulation created by a massive extraterrestrial computer, because physics. But how do you explain all of 2016? "Be under no illusion," says Lord Sugar. "In this process, I'm the one who decides who's going to remain, and I'm the one who decides who's going to leave, simple as that." What if life is just one long Amstrad computer program? No wonder the world's gone to pot.
LittleBigPicture presents its #hottake on the final episode of Big Little Lies, a mere 48 hours after it aired in the UK. After seven weeks of speculation, we finally found out who the murder victim and murderer at Trivia Night were, but many questions were left unanswered, such as ...
(BTW, it goes without saying: there are spoilers ahead.)
What's for dinner tonight? Is it ... ROAST LAMB? Because ... because they're like lambs, you see, and they're getting roasted, and, and ... oh, forget it. It's Interview Week, that's all you've come for. Are you not entertained?
This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill: the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill: you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember: all I'm offering is the truth. Nothing more.
Ahhh, the sea. She is a cruel mistress. This week, not one but two contestants will be taking a power nap with the fishes as the remaining Apprentices are lost at sea for this week's task. The boat show must go on.
These are testing times: as we approach the series finale of 2016 AKA That Was The Worst Year That Was, this time next week we could be watching our hapless Apprenti flapping around while a man whose name is a northern euphemism for passing wind could be leader of the free world. Speaking of hot air …