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The Apprentice: season 13, episode 2 recap: "Panic Room"

Posted by Ed Williamson at 00:16 on 17 Oct 2017
The Apprentice: season 13, episode 2 recap: "Panic Room"
There are too many of them. The Apprentice always trudges through its early weeks like an underfunded, overcrowded crèche, full of puffed-up, bellicose rugrats wanting the biggest rusk. The reality of editing it down to an hour means there are always those who can keep their heads down for a few weeks and ride it out till their first reckoning around Bonfire Night. As such, I have no idea what half their names are and I'm fucked if I'm going to bother learning them.

The Apprentice: season 13, episode 1 recap: "The Buns of Brixton"

Posted by Becky Suter at 23:30 on 09 Oct 2017
The Apprentice: season 13, episode 1 recap: "The Buns of Brixton"
A team of Oxford University physicists has recently determined that, despite popular opinion, reality is not a simulation created by a massive extraterrestrial computer, because physics. But how do you explain all of 2016? "Be under no illusion," says Lord Sugar. "In this process, I'm the one who decides who's going to remain, and I'm the one who decides who's going to leave, simple as that." What if life is just one long Amstrad computer program? No wonder the world's gone to pot.

Eight questions I had after the Big Little Lies finale

Posted by Becky Suter at 15:45 on 26 Apr 2017
Eight questions I had after the Big Little Lies finale
LittleBigPicture presents its #hottake on the final episode of Big Little Lies, a mere 48 hours after it aired in the UK. After seven weeks of speculation, we finally found out who the murder victim and murderer at Trivia Night were, but many questions were left unanswered, such as ...

(BTW, it goes without saying: there are spoilers ahead.)

Hardy to get knob out on CBeebies

Posted by Ed Williamson at 12:45 on 06 Apr 2017
Hardy to get knob out on CBeebies
Tom Hardy's popular stint on Bedtime Stories is to end with a series finale in which he just shows you his penis.

My Google audio history is just recordings of me watching Friends

Posted by Ed Williamson at 16:45 on 01 Apr 2017
My Google audio history is just recordings of me watching Friends
This is a low point if I'm honest.

The Apprentice: season 12, episode 12 recap: "Cakermaker"

Posted by Ed Williamson at 23:30 on 20 Dec 2016
The Apprentice: season 12, episode 12 recap: "Cakermaker"
After years of affecting to be above it all like the dickhead I am, it finally happened. I cared who won The Apprentice. "Alana's has the less risk of the two business plans," I said to myself. "Surely Lord Sugar will see that; what self-respecting businessman wouldn't?" Well played, 2016. You win.

The Apprentice: season 12, episode 11 recap: "Claude of the Stings"

Posted by Becky Suter at 20:30 on 18 Dec 2016
The Apprentice: season 12, episode 11 recap: "Claude of the Stings"
What's for dinner tonight? Is it ... ROAST LAMB? Because ... because they're like lambs, you see, and they're getting roasted, and, and ... oh, forget it. It's Interview Week, that's all you've come for. Are you not entertained?

The Apprentice: season 12, episode 10 recap: "A Kick in the Botanicals"

Posted by Ed Williamson at 23:30 on 12 Dec 2016
The Apprentice: season 12, episode 10 recap: "A Kick in the Botanicals"
There's one man left and five women, just like that dream I keep having about being overpowered by the female Gladiators.

The Apprentice: season 12, episode 9 recap: "Virtual Insanity"

Posted by Becky Suter at 08:30 on 06 Dec 2016
The Apprentice: season 12, episode 9 recap: "Virtual Insanity"
This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill: the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill: you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember: all I'm offering is the truth. Nothing more.

Your easy flowchart guide to Westworld plot twists

Posted by Ed Williamson at 16:00 on 03 Dec 2016
Your easy flowchart guide to Westworld plot twists
Heard tell on social media that there's a huge twist coming in Westworld? Whichever character it involves, allow us to simplify it for you.